The Early Bird

Remember hearing that from your parents ?
"The early bird gets the worm." We heard it regularly while Mom was bravely attempting to get us up for school. Or her gentle reminders to not be late.

I'm changing the saying just a little today. The early bird gets sleepy too fast.

My nightly ritual lately is:
All quiet until I lay down for the night.  Then as if by magical hour,  the cough finds its way home.  Not the chronic rejection cough, the thyroid pressing on the trachea cough. The cough that repeats over and over, "I'm gonna make you wish you could breathe and make me stop, but you can't".

Last night it started early. I was sitting in the recliner,  and Wham! I finally got things relatively calm but noticed it had triggered A-Fib. This was about 8PM.  Gotta love the feel when your heart jumps from 52 beats per minute to 118. I mean all those darned butterflies are flapping their wings in complete unison trying to break out of my chest.


I gave my heart the allotted time to correct itself,  to no avail and got my Metoprolol. Now I admit, I detest taking this and resist at all cost. It slows me way down, makes me dizzy and nauseous.
 Hoping to sleep the effects off, I went o bed.

Yes my old friend the cough came too. When it finally calmed to let me sleep, my kidneys decided they wanted the night shift. I was up every hour...grrrrrrr

 I finally waved a white flag of surrender and got up at 3:30. My heart rate is down, but not where it should be. Anothe dose of Metoprolol might do it, but not until later.  12 hours per dose,  would be 9AM.  But I have a 9:30 Doctor appointment for suture removal and since the medicine causes dizziness as well as nauseau, I think it best to wait. No, I do not want to have a stroke!  Trust me, if it gets worse, they can remove the sutures at the hospital.

Dilemmas and chaos are a part of everyday life,  just once I wish it were something other than medical chaos. But then agsin without all this my life just might be utterly dull. :-)

So here I sit, propped on the couch, resting for a bit. Maybe the Powers that be will favor me with a nap ;-)

Changes

    New year always brings change. Resolutions would be the first to come to mind.  I've had changes more akin to upheavals.
    First was the departure of my lung transplant physician and my Coordinator his wife.  I'm still getting used to this.  It's difficult to trust another doctor , when this one has kept me alive for 12 years.
   I've been working with my Endocrinologist for the last year , watching my thyroid enlarge while my Hemoglobin dropped. Even kidney transplant is concerned.
  I've been patiently waiting for my appointment on Monday.  We are so close to a resolution.  So , tonight I get a call from his office.  Today was his last day.  *huge sigh*. I am stuck in a country song.  "Here I go again. "

Grinning. .... at least I had a nice dinner at Olive Garden beforehand.

Wishes And Blessings

     How many times have we all wished for something ordinary.
"I wish the dishes were done before I get home. "  Or "I wish for a bit of quiet" .  Now,  remember how great it was, when it actually happened ? The utter bliss if sinking into that steamy bubble bath, your favorite music and no one home to interrupt.

That is me this morning.

    As many of you know,  my cough keeps me awake both day and night so naps are rarely achieved with rest.  Couple that with 4 pillows in a vain effort to NOT cough, and deep, refreshing sleep is elusive.  Having a desire to sleep on your back is One thing,  being forced to is another.  Attempting to sleep sitting straight up one invariably awakens with the malady "tingly butt".

Among my simple wishes , topping the list are:
1.  A refreshing nights sleep with no cough.
2. The utter bliss of sleeping with one pillow.

I have many simple wishes,  but sleep has to top the list.  Sleep refreshes us in mind, body and spirit.

Last night for the first time in a few years, my 2 simple wishes came true!  Three pillows on the floor and my head on only one. And *insert drum roll* no cough ! I know it will rear its ugly self after I drink my coffee,  but I intend to wallow in my good fortune for as long as possible.  Oh! And I forgot the best part!  I got up at 5AM, went back to bed and unbelievably went back to sleep until 7A.M. this is amazing in my life.

I know this burst of energy will dissipate as the morning moves on, but it's so nice to wake up feeling rested and ready to tackle the world.   Finally... :-)


Have a refreshed day and don't take your simple pleasures for granted.   ♥

Early Mornings

I remember my Parents alway saying "the early bird catches the worm "_ but they didn't get up repeatedly all night with a cough.

And here I sit my friends, awake and drinking coffee at 3:30 AM -coughing. In all fairness to my cough,  it woke me an hour ago, I merely tried to ignore it in the vain hope it would go away.

No such luck.

Those wonderful REM times when our bodies get rejuvenated from that deep sleep, not gonna happen. Not here, not now. Today will bea day of trudging in a zombie like state, feeding myself  fuel to keep going, until I can get home and collapse.

Now I'm not complaining !  I knew all this could happen 24 years ago, when discovering there was a chance I couls live longer.  I have endured worse, much worse. And if I am truthful I will 3ndure worse again, before this is all over.  So I am so very grateful that I am still here experiencing everything life has given me, plus all the Blessings yet to come.

And that is today's lesson..... be thankful for everything in your life. Good, bad, & other wise. Smile through the bad, laugh at the otherwise,  and truly enjoy the good. For therein lie the memories that will help you sail tthrough life :)

Back to my coffee, my book on the Civil War, and hopefully an early morning nap.

Havea wonderful day today -good, bad or otherwise,  it is YOUR. Day.

Blessed sleep

Remember I mentioned previously how refreshing a good nights sleep is? You wake up in the morning , stretch, and happily breathe in the start of a new day.
I've had one week without that dastardly cough waking me repeatedly during the night.  The cough suppressants by the bed have been happily ignored!  One week in almost 2 years ! Two pillows sit on the floor at night, when they used to join 2 friends under my head, forcing me to sleep upright,  if I wanted to sleep at all.
Glancing at the clock and realizing you seriously slept is a beautiful thing.

Well,  the pillows have gotten lonely and had clandestine meeting s with those cough drops. They will soon be back in their rightful places.  My cough returned with a vengeance this morning! 5AM I bolted straight up in bed (vertigo hit too) coughing to the point of choking.  Like an excited friend returning from the vacation of a lifetime,  it has not stopped speaking since .

This does give me serious thought.  Were those IV antibiotics worth the cost ? Was it worth me taking a nose dive into that Black Hole known as the coverage gap? My checkbook loudly shouts NO! But my throat, chest and mind are nodding a vigorous Oh Hell Yeah!

7 days of blissful sleep is well.......heavenly.
I knew 22 years ago this could happen, but would you trade that many years of life on a maybe?  Me neither.  Being chronically ill means your health is front and center a full-time job. We can take breaks & mini vacations,  but will always return to our job.


Yawning,  I lean back in my recliner and hope to get a 20 minute power nap - game on     me vs cough.

Memories

I can still recall how my life transpired from 17- about 25. Before the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) anyone with a disability feared applying for a job. Even worse you were afraid to admit you had any form of medical issues. There were organizations that employed ONLY the disabled, so I tried one of those for a few months. It only took a few months long to realize:
1. I was not that disabled.
2. I would never achieve the few dreams I had left.
Sitting in a bare office, trying to tele-market light bulbs was not for me. It was great for those who truly needed it . Just not me. I guess this is why to this day I'm on the Do Not Call List.
I decided to try finding a job in my chosen field at that time: medical.
I went back to school and became a Medical Assistant, but symptoms began to show and it was difficult maintaining the low-pay, hectic office where I was at the time.
So I went back to work at the hospital and became a Pharmacy Technician. It was a slower pace, I was not in the public arena where germs ran rampant, and I had found my niche. For awhile.
I eventually took a job with the county health department which afforded me better benefits. It was at this point I began asking what the benefits were as opposed to negotiating a salary. I could always get a 2nd job to cover bills, BUT good health insurance coverage was mandatory.
It was also around this time I began to cough up blood. I think my cardiologist, David Chinoy MD (at the time) was going to have a coronary himself when I casually mentioned it during a visit.
I was quickly informed this was a major red flag!
From what I remember: the pressure gets so high in my heart and lungs that the arteries were bursting and I was coughing up fresh blood. He scared me to death when he mentioned I could eventually hemorrhage (?). I was also quickly becoming a CHF (congestive heart failure) patient with all the fluid build up happening in my heart. I still wonder to this day if he was doing this mainly to scare me into behaving. After all I was only in my early 20's and rebelling.
My rebellion is another story all in owns right, which I'll attempt on my next writing. Until then stay safe, stay healthy, and please don't be like I was -Listen to your doctor. After all it's your money you give them for your care.