1:30AM and the morning person is up earlier than she'd like to be.
One of the protocols at my transplant center is if your temperature is 100 or above they must be called. As I looked at the thermometer yesterday in trepidation I knew what I had to do. The cough is wreaking havoc and the temperature is up, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach I picked up the phone.
It's times like this I'm quickly reminded I am not a normal healthy person, something a chronically ill or physically disabled person longs to be with every fiber of their being. In day to day life, I can sometimes push it to the back of my memory, to be hidden far away from reality.
During the call I was given the choice of coming to the hospital or starting antibiotics again. With it being a 4 hr drive one way, I seriously did not feel well enough to drive and Larry was at work. I chose the antibiotics, though a hospital stay and giving this Pseudomonas a strong kick to the curb is appealing. So I waited all day, not that I felt like going anywhere, meds delivered, nurse accessed my port -here I go again.
With this happening more frequently I can't help but wonder if this is the start of "the long painful road home ". I vividly remember the first time I started that journey. Many times I said, " chronic rejection was leagues worse than my original disease. Not that I have chronic rejection again, but one bad lung can make life miserable at times. With PPH I was short of breath, now I can't stop this painful deep cough. I'm reminded of a scene in "The YaYa Sisterhood" where a line is " you made me think I was gonna cough up a lung " I was offended by it and they way they parodied those on oxygen, but it's the one line I seem to remember.
I still have to make that long drive on Monday, with an overnight bag just in case. (I haven't had to do that in 8 years!)
Fingers crossed, no admission.
Drat! I forgot to ask if I could take Tylenol!
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