Sooner Than Expected

1:30AM and the morning person is up earlier than she'd like to be.

One of the protocols at my transplant center is if your temperature is 100 or above they must be called.  As I looked at the thermometer yesterday in trepidation I knew what I had to do. The cough is wreaking havoc and the temperature is up, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach I picked up the phone.

It's times like this I'm quickly reminded I am not a normal healthy person,  something a chronically ill or physically disabled person longs to be with every fiber of their being.  In day to day life, I can sometimes push it to the back of my memory,  to be hidden far away from reality.

During the call I was given the choice of coming to the hospital or starting antibiotics again.  With it being a 4 hr drive one way, I seriously did not feel well enough to drive and Larry was at work. I chose the antibiotics,  though a hospital stay and giving this Pseudomonas a strong kick to the curb is appealing.  So I waited all day, not that I felt like going anywhere, meds delivered, nurse accessed my port -here I go again.

With this happening more frequently I can't help but wonder if this is the start of "the long painful road home ". I vividly remember the first time I started that journey.  Many times I said, " chronic rejection was leagues worse than my original disease. Not that I have chronic rejection again, but one bad lung can make life miserable at times. With PPH I was short of breath, now I can't stop this painful deep cough.  I'm reminded of a scene in "The YaYa Sisterhood" where a line is " you made me think I was gonna cough up a lung " I was offended by it and they way they parodied those on oxygen,  but it's the one line I seem to remember.


I still have to make that long drive on Monday,  with an overnight bag just in case. (I haven't had to do that in 8 years!)
Fingers crossed,  no admission.
Drat! I forgot to ask if I could take Tylenol!

New Hardware

I wondered a few days ago just how much hardware a body can handle before the software  gives up.


This is a photo of my morning and evening routine:

On the left  you see the IV meds I take and on the right the 2 nebulizer treatments .

Now this may not seem like much to you, however upon waking my routine is weight (yuck), blood pressure, temperature, heart rate, pft's, and blood sugar and logging it all in on an Excel spreadsheet. Then 

Then round one of meds, breakfast, morning walk with boys, then round 2 of meds- then all the above before getting ready for work.

This is the picc line for the IV's  that I wrap after the treatment so it  isn't seen at work:

Yeah it hurt and itches like hell, but it's something I need for now. On Friday it comes out and I get a port in my upper right shoulder. Left is already full -a Pacemaker is strategically parked there. They told me the port would hurt about as much as the pacer being put in.. great.. SO that's why the Rx of Oxy..

Along with all this is the emotional  ( I dread to consider the financial) aspect too. That is the part not many see. I'm still remaining positive and refuse any negativity in my life.

And thanks to wonderful -fantabulous friends on FaceBook I'm making it with laughter!

This post was starting out vastly different, then I spoke to a few of those wonderful friends and they had me laughing like a banshee!  

Moral to the story:

The software can handle the hardware as long as it has wonderful caring friends and family.

Have you told your friends how special they are today??

Maybe you should

Listen to those "bad vibes"

    My bad feeling about Larry leaving for work came true.. And darned if I wasn't reading a book about just that- trusting in those little vibes you get.
After a high temperature (100.6) on Tuesday I was told to  be in clinic on Wednesday and to bring a bag "just in case" . Well we recipients know what that means.. Your happy butt will be admitted and you get 3 square meals ( if you could call it that) you don't have to prepare.  I woke up at 3:30AM and hit the road. My first appointment was at 8:00 for an x-ray. Then the fun began:  6 minute walk, pulmonary function tests ( that wreaked havoc on my lungs with this cough), Dr Baz and then the news- I was to get a port for IV Cefipime. Everything is showing normal so all they can figure is the Pseudomonas is trying to return with a vengeance. Though in thinking about this, I remember Pseudomonas as leaving one with the taste  of grapes in their mouth. This tastes nothing like that ! trust me


 Finally a port ! It has taken me 10 years to convince Dr Baz a port is better than a picc line any day!  Which also means no more 8 hour round trips to Shands for a picc line insertion. So it is then 11:00 and I think lunch since it could be 3-4 hours before they get to me.. WRONG~! nothing to eat or drink- gee thanks..  And he hands me a prescription for Oxycodone for pain. I thought you said this wouldn't hurt? Oh no more than your pacemaker did... Well that hurt like hell buster!  

  So I check in and decide to get the prescription filled so I don't have to on my way home. I give them my cell number only to discover  I'm on the last bar and in the red ! great and 4 hours to drive home!  I got out to 8 voice mails and cringed. Plug the phone in to charge, find a parking lot and clear them all.  I sat in a McDonalds parking lot in the rain on the phone- starving.

I got a picc line again...   :(  I have to be fever free for 24 hours to get a port -plus someone needs to druve me home after anesthesia.. Anesthesia? you call fentanyl and versed anesthesia ? I call those bronch happy  drugs.. I drive home after bronchs all the time. Well, they don't know that .. So it is a picc line.  and it itches like a MADMAN !

 So I now get Cefipime twice a day via IV and will start Colistin on Monday- inhaled 30 days on and 30 days off.. This is to be used as a preventative to keep "whatever" at bay.  I am too exhausted and tired to even consider what this will do to the part D  "black hole" I am about to sink into.. I only know if you hear a loud scream in a few months you'll know I got blind sighted with the bills.

Since Colistin is not an approved Medicare drug, I shudder to think of its cost.  But I'm in this for the long haul, and if I can't hit the ground running each morning, I'll just be thankful I can wake up and hit the ground at all.

On a more serious note, my temperature elevated to 101.6 on Thursday night. I figure after the picc insertion,  4 hour drive through thunderstorms, and getting home at 9PM- what body wouldn't rebel.  Shands thought differently and wanted me to drive back to be admitted. I simply did not have it in me.  I pleaded for 2 Tylenol and to sleep. Yes we must get permission to take Tylenol when running a temperature.   They let me !  I woke at 7AM, completely out of character for me and felt like I had just slept the sleep of the dead!  Never have I slept that much or that soundly!

I'm still running a slight temp (shhh don;t tell anyone ), the nebulizer has been delivered, and on June 22nd I will once again make that drive to Shands. The picc line will be removed and a port inserted.  I will be in continual healing mode this summer  :) But I will be here for the summer (and beyond)  THAT is the key.;

Time for an IV!!!