Have you ever had one of those days where you want to throw your hands up and just scream.. Stop the world I want off.. Or for you Trekkies -Beam me up Scotty!
I seem to be having a year of those days.. Now this is not the rants and raves of a silly LOL (little old lady), I too have those times when I feel overwhelmed with health issues and trepidation of what is to come.
My year started with the Retinal Occlusion and the news that my vision would never return to normal in my left eye. Then on to my little boy (DB) and his heart lung issues and fearing I was losing him a few weeks ago.
For those of you reading my blog for the first time DB is one of my furry wet-nosed four legged boys. The alpha male of the household - yes all 10 pounds of him. And affectionately called Dibs since he is a smaller version of his 18 pound brother.
Next was a clinic visit to Shands and the news that my lung function and kidney function were down. I knew I couldn't ride that "all healthy and good" gravy train forever, but both?? The clinic visited resulted in a return trip for a bronchoscopy and cleaning all that "gunk" out of my lungs. To date nothing has grown in the samples, to my dismay. My cough left for a few weeks and just when I thought it safe to breathe again -Wham ! it returned with a vengeance. I mean drinking a bottle of water really fast and hanging over the porcelain throne to bring it all up. Daily... You see all that "gunk" likes to stick around and try to take up residence in my lungs- resulting in a high temperature and Levacquin for 5 days. Which is where I stand now. One more day left !
I have yet to decided which taste is worse: Prednisone sticking to the roof of your mouth , requiring that appendage with all those taste buds to jar it loose- or that metallic taste from Levacquin that NOTHING will remove. That plus the insomnia might put good ole Lev right on top.
For the last 3 weeks I've had dizziness for no apparent reason. I mean if I'm gonna lie down and the room spin- why can't I have the alcohol to make it worthwhile right?? It doesn't seem to happen when I bend down like "normal" folks- but after my walks - note to self- grabbing a palm frond to steady yourself is about as good as holding a flag pole in a thunderstorm.Now comes a 30-day event monitor.. Great ! I have negative feelings regarding heart monitors- stemming from a bad experience years ago. Plus with this happening daily should my Dr. really want me to wait and then wait again for it to be sent away for reading??
Most of this stems from the fact we were just told my husband is leaving Friday for an extended stay in New England for work.. Yes I am strong! Yes I can be fearless! But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that being alone with this heart issue is scary.
Please don't get me wrong. I am not angry. I am frustrated. A good phrase is Sick & tired of being sick & tired. I'm also concerned that this may be that time where I once again have to suck it up and realize I'm on borrowed time. But honestly, I'd rather not face that news alone.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Cinco De Mayo
To many of you Cinco de Mayo refers to the Commemoration of the Mexican Army's 1862 victory over the French in the Battle of Puebla in the Franco-Mexican War.
To me it does too, however I have a huge celebration as well. On this day in 2005 (yes o5-05-05) I received my third chance at a new life. I received a kidney transplant.
I am to this day amazed at how little we think of our kidneys, and how they bring everything into working order in these complex machines we call our bodies. I knew I was anemic and had high blood pressure because of the the insufficiency of my kidneys. But to see the day after transplant my blood pressure reading drop to a whopping 95/64 with no meds from barely controlled 120/92 (on a good day) while taking 2 different medications is phenomenal.. I mean how can this small organ, smaller than my fist accomplish such a huge feat?
I still have my 3 page list of foods I had to avoid. No they were not the fast foods we hear about today. These were ones I loved: bananas, oranges, broccoli, dairy, etc. I used to joke that anything that was naturally good and colorful was b-a-d for me. I held out to the very last with my Diet Coke. Can't have caramel colored soft drinks either, too much phosphorus. I only drank them when I had an upset stomach. That too was nixed in the end.
I no longer have my "Popeye" arm, where the fistula was placed. It was removed exactly 5 years to the day after it was put in. It had formed a clot due to non-use. I smiled to think non-use. Wow, first time I could actually say I had a surgical procedure done as a pre-cautionary that was exactly that! Now all that remains is a long scar from under my arm-pit to just below my wrist. A reminder to take care of that lone kidney I received from Suzie my sweet donor. And the wonderful Donor Dad who agreed to let me receive it.
Today is melancholy and yet happy. Today is my celebration, while Donor Dad is remembering his little girl he lost on May 3, 2005 her birthday. You too can honor my donor Suzie, please visit my page and see her picture and read a little about her too. We have alot of similarities in our lives.
Are you an Organ Donor ? The life you could save might be one you love.. ♥
Recycle yourself.. Become an Organ and Tissue Donor
To me it does too, however I have a huge celebration as well. On this day in 2005 (yes o5-05-05) I received my third chance at a new life. I received a kidney transplant.
I am to this day amazed at how little we think of our kidneys, and how they bring everything into working order in these complex machines we call our bodies. I knew I was anemic and had high blood pressure because of the the insufficiency of my kidneys. But to see the day after transplant my blood pressure reading drop to a whopping 95/64 with no meds from barely controlled 120/92 (on a good day) while taking 2 different medications is phenomenal.. I mean how can this small organ, smaller than my fist accomplish such a huge feat?
I still have my 3 page list of foods I had to avoid. No they were not the fast foods we hear about today. These were ones I loved: bananas, oranges, broccoli, dairy, etc. I used to joke that anything that was naturally good and colorful was b-a-d for me. I held out to the very last with my Diet Coke. Can't have caramel colored soft drinks either, too much phosphorus. I only drank them when I had an upset stomach. That too was nixed in the end.
I no longer have my "Popeye" arm, where the fistula was placed. It was removed exactly 5 years to the day after it was put in. It had formed a clot due to non-use. I smiled to think non-use. Wow, first time I could actually say I had a surgical procedure done as a pre-cautionary that was exactly that! Now all that remains is a long scar from under my arm-pit to just below my wrist. A reminder to take care of that lone kidney I received from Suzie my sweet donor. And the wonderful Donor Dad who agreed to let me receive it.
Today is melancholy and yet happy. Today is my celebration, while Donor Dad is remembering his little girl he lost on May 3, 2005 her birthday. You too can honor my donor Suzie, please visit my page and see her picture and read a little about her too. We have alot of similarities in our lives.
Are you an Organ Donor ? The life you could save might be one you love.. ♥
Recycle yourself.. Become an Organ and Tissue Donor
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