I've recently heard from a few of you that I haven't blogged in awhile. Looking at my last post, I would have to agree. I want to thank you for being my reminder, and giving me something to truly think about these past few days.
I've discovered that lately when I don't feel well, I tend to retreat into myself as opposed to putting it out there in cyberspace. I mean, why put my misery off you right? Though it isn't really misery, we long-termers have learned to just keep going no matter what. There is always a "good day" right around the corner.
Before the days of Facebook and social media, I kept a journal. I was obsessively diligent in writing my daily thoughts and actions each night. This journaling literally saved my life, not only emotionally, but medically. Each time I open one particular journal (this one I keep handy) I am vividly reminded of that time 12 years ago. I remember what I endured medically, how I felt each day with my strength and life slowly ebbing away. But mostly I remember how I wrote about it, and how it made me stronger mentally to carry on.
Now, today we have blogging. So my decision is to write about my bad days as well as my good or remain quiet. My Reader's Digest (condensed) version is this:
The last few months have been a trial with new developments medically. I've had enough ct scans, and labs to keep me happy for another decade! I trudge through all these new aches and pains with a vengeance.
However, inside is that nagging thought, "will this be one of those "bad years"?" If you have severe medical issues you know what I mean. I live in dread of another winter like the one I endured in 2007/2008 which carried over to 2009. Actually I am still paying for that time too. These past months have brought about more "not so good days" than good days. I refuse to believe they are bad days yet, I haven't hit the worst day I've ever had on a scale of 1-10.
Through all this, my lung function is stable and remains the same. Plus my kidney function is great too. I am determined to keep these 2 organs in top condition as long as I possibly can, these are a cherished Gift. I am confident these other aches and pains are merely the aging process, and I will accept and conquer these like a champ. After all if not for 3 graciously generous families I would never have been given the chance to conquer the aging process .
